All grown up

Daddy is stressed. It was all going along just fine and then bump. In the 2 and 3/4 years since we became parents nothing is constant except for the pattern of change. We will be going along just fine and then the bump trips us up. It is guaranteed to happen.

When she was 3 months old, she stayed up for hours on end one night with an incessant case of the giggles. She had figured out how to laugh. It was the first big change. She couldn't stop...she just laughed and laughed and laughed. What should have been seen as our first big leap into the great beyond scared me to death. I took her to my mom's and I called the pediatrician. The call went something like this..."yes, I have a three month old who won't sleep and is giggling in fits...is something wrong...should I bring her in?"

How crazy does that sound now. I couldn't give in and enjoy it. It wasn't how it had "always" in three months been.

When she was eleven months old, I wanted nothing more for her to walk and go to bed at a normal bedtime. All my other friends were able to get their kids down by 8 p.m., why did I have to do everything but stand on my head to get my kiddo down by eleven? I was really worried about milestones. Sure kids don't always walk until they are 13 or 14 months...but by God, this kid is advanced! See the way she held a book and seemed to "read" it!

She talked, laughed, seemed so smart and with it, so why shouldn't the physical follow. Then a week before her birthday the first steps came...and they haven't slowed down.

On the night after her first birthday, exhausted from the excitement and sugar bust she crashed at 8 p.m. and slept until 8 p.m. We literally went up and watched her breathe on multiple occasions. Yes, it was what we wanted, no it wasn't what we expected!

We are entering a similar phase. Very unexpectedly the "potty training in a day" worked. She is so proud and so are we. Accompanying this discovery has been the advent of panties and a new found interest in all things girly. She has always been a ham and a flirt but this is new. She picked out the fanciest dress she could find on Sunday for church and told her Daddy it was her wedding gown. She informed us on Monday that her friend, who happens to be a little boy, "loves" her but that she "loves" her other little friend more. She dances, sings and bats her eyes. She doesn't like dirt and she loves pink. Then out of the blue, just yesterday, she noticed my painted toes. "Mommy, Mommy--paint my toes too!" I obliged and she felt so pretty, that she had to pass it on!.

Daddy came home, and I rushed out. I got a call on my cell phone about 20 minutes later. "Did you think I wouldn't notice the polish...she isn't even three, you know!" Oh Daddy, buckle your seat belt, it's going to be a bumpy ride!

Exhausted

"How did you do it?" I innocently asked the mom with the 3 year old, 18 month old and one on the way. "How did you get them potty trained?"

"It was easy," she replied. "I had my daughter trained at 12 months, she has never had an accident and I did it all in 3 hours."

"What???," I said--needing desperately the secret.

"It's all in the book--you should check it out--really any child can be potty trained in a day," she said as easy as you please.

That is how it happened that this robber of sleep, book of hope and fear came into my possession.

I have been reading this granter of one day miracles since last July. I have attempted it lock stock and barrel twice on my own--to no avail and many wet floors and baby lax later. The book knows this will happen--that is why it tells you that if the primary caregiver "fails" at this task then the task needs to be given to someone else to do. All of that led to today. My mother said that she would give it a shot, along with my cousin’s help.

Being a true Baptist, I believe in miracles--especially the everyday variety. So while my mother and cousin were abiding by this book's rules--disregarding phone calls, not answering the door, speaking only to my child and only about the potty, I was trying to play catch up with my work. I put 100 miles on my car, updated listings, took new pictures, put up signs, crawled around in barns, climbed fences, avoided wildlife and measured houses. I was midway through when I got the call.

"Someone has something they want to tell you."

"I pee peeed in the potty Mommy!"

"Great!" I said, believing that miracles really do come true.

Of course I avoided the Pollyanna tendencies of my mother who then filled in a few blanks about how the tinkling began and how it ended. My baby was trained! It was done--or so I believed.

Now here is the problem the book doesn't address. What if you have a fairly bright child, who understands completely how to hold back and in fact how to let go--but who sees letting go as failure on her part. Even if the letting go happens on the potty and even if she is rewarded handsomely. It is still failure and in her little mind it must not occur.

That is where we are now...10 hours post pee a million miles to go and no end in sight. My child is clean and dry but she going to explode! I have begged, modeled behavior, and forced fluids all to no avail. According to this little girl in the fancy shoes, pee is her glass slipper and she ain't leaving it behind!